Whose ball this is, I think, 1 see,

                                         Him standing back there on the tee.

                                         He will not see me stooping here

                                         To toss his drive behind a tree.

                                         My drive was lovely, straight and far,

                                         But I’m three strokes behind so far;

                                         And holes to go ‘til I break par;

                                         And holes to go ‘tii I break par

“Now Where is It?”

          A STUDY REVEALS that more than half of Americans lose their TV remote between one and five times a week, while 11 % misplace it six to ten times. 63 % of those who’ve lost their remotes spend five minutes searching for them, and 16 % ten minutes. Most often the device is hiding in or under the furniture or in a nearby room, but 6 % say they usually find it in the fridge.

IRISH SAYING spotted in Killarney shop: “Get down on your knees, and thank God you are on your feet.”

BIRTHDAYS are good for you.

Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

THEY SHOULD put expiration dates on clothes so people would know when they go out of style.    ~~(Garry Shandling

How GOOD YOU ARE as a parent may depend on whether you think teenagers have problems or are problems.

                                            Doug Larson, United Feature Syndicate

HEAR ABOUT THE WOMAN who sent out 40,000 valentine cards doused in French perfume and signed “Guess who?”

                                                   She’s a divorce lawyer. —Robert Orbcn

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Church of the Science of God
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Church of the Science of GOD, 1993
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