NEED A GOOD CHUCKLE?
by: Dr. Gary L. Ailes, DVM
Sierra Sage contributor
Laughter is one of the best medicines every created and the price is definitely right.
To start the New Year, presented here is a little humor collected by Dr. Carl Osborne, who heads a veterinary nephrology/urology center at the College of Veterinary Medicine in Minnesota.
Should you find a little chuckle, I’m sure you will keep it to yourself and if you find offense ----- lighten up and the world will be brighter.
If you have a favorite giggle, especially if it relates to veterinary medicine or any medicine, feel free to email it to email@example.com.
Incontinence hot line....... .can you hold please?
If H20 is on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside? K9P
Why do fireman have Dalmatians? To help them find the fire hydrants in the snow.
Some days you’re the dog -----and some days you’re the hydrant.
Did you hear that FED-EX and UPS are forming a new group to rapidly ship stones to the Minnesota Urolith Center? The new name is FED-UP
Say “lettuce” and spel l CUP. ------- lettuce C-U-P
What do Minnesotans get from sitting on the ice too long? Polaroids
A pig walked into a bar, ordered 15 beers and drank them all in an hour.
The bartender asked, “Would you like to know where the lavatory is?” “No thanks” said the porcine. “I’m the little pig who goes wee-wee-wee all the way home!
How many surgeons does it take to change a light bulb? None.
You don’t need it out today, but if it continues to give you trouble in the future, you should consider having it removed.
The large animal veterinarian was seen urinating in a wheat field and was arrested for going against the grain.
Two vets are captured by cannibals. After they are stripped of their clothes, they are thrown into a big pot of water and it is suspended over a huge fire. As the water gets hotter and hotter, one of the vets starts laughing almost uncontrollably. The other asks “What is so dam funny?” His colleague answers, “Wait till they find out that I just urinated in their soup.”
Mahatrna Gandhi, as you may know, walked barefoot most of the time. As a result, deep calluses developed on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. In addition, because of his unusual diet, he had real bad breath.
This caused him to become what? -----A super-callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis!
A veterinarian lay sprawled across three seats in the center of the auditorium in the posh Amarillo theatre. When the usher noticed he whispered to the vet, “Sony sir. but you are really allowed only one seat.” The vet groaned but didn’t budge.
The usher became more impatient. “Sir, if you don’t get up from there, I’m going to have to call the manager, Mr. C. Andrew Kuhn.. The vet just groaned. The usher marched back up the aisle, returning with the manager.
Together they tried repeatedly to move the vet, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation and asked, -‘All right, buddy, what’s you’re name?” “Dr. Sam” the vet moaned. “Where are you from, Dr. Sam?” With pain in his voice, Sam replied, “The balcony.”
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