If You Know Someone Thatís Ill
-----Please Donít!

Donít

assume that because I look well that I feel well. Looks can be very deceiving. Many days I look great but feel terrible.

Donít

say, ĒI know how you feel.Ē No one knows how anyone else feels. We all have varying thresholds of pain, and pain cannot be measured.

Donít

tell me about your Aunt Maude and her illness (operation) etc. How she manages in spite of it is good for Auntie, but I am doing the best I can right now.

Donít

tell me , it could be worse.Ē Iíve thought of that too, please, donít remind me.

Donít

decide what I am capable of doing. Allow me to make those decisions. There may be times Iím wrong, but Iíll know soon enough.

Donít

be upset that you cannot ease my problems. It wonít do any good for both of us to be miserable.

Donít

ask me how I feel unless you really want to know. You just might hear a whole lot more than you are prepared to listen to.

Donít

assume because I did a certain activity yesterday that I may be able to do it again today.

Donít

tell me about the latest fad cure you just heard about. If there is a legitimate treatment available, my doctor has been looking for it for me and will let me know.

Do

realize that I am angry and frustrated with my problem and my progress----not with you. (I love you, really)

Do

let me know that you are available to help me when I ask, and you hope I do.

Do

, please Do offer me lots of encouragement. (Thank you)

Do

understand why I cancel plans at the last minute. I never know one minute from the next just how I will feel, honest!

Do

continue to invite me to parties and other activities. Just because I may not be able to participate in the beginning I might muster up enough energy to meet your for the finals of the day. Please let me decide.

Thanks for being there even if you forget something on my list. I might be having a good day and not notice it either.

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