From “Now I’LL TELL ONE”

                                             By: HARRY HIRSHFIELD

(Copyright Chilton Company, 1938)

SMITH, Jones and Greene came to the big city to attend

the Horseradish Dealers’ Convention. They got a room

together on the sixtieth floor of a hotel. That night they

went out for a bit of excitement and returned about 2 A.M.

As they entered the lobby of the hotel, the clerk informed

the trio that the elevators had broken down and would not

be fixed until morning. He would arrange cots for them in

the lobby.

          “No, no,” answered Jones. “We’ll walk up.”

          “But you are on the sixtieth floor,” reminded the clerk.

          “We know it — but just the same, we’ll walk up.”

          As the three started up the stairs, Jones again suggested

something. “Boys, after all, it’s sixty floors, so I have an

idea. To keep it interesting while we walk up, for the first

twenty floors I’ll sing. The next twenty flights, Smith, you

tell jokes — and, as you are by nature a sad guy, Greene,

you’ll tell sad stories for the last twenty floors. Anything to

keep up the interest.”

          Up they started. Jones sang for twenty flights. Then up

to the fortieth floor Smith told nifty jokes. As they started

for the final twenty Jones said, “Now Greene, you tell sad


          “Have, I got something sad to tell you immediately,”

moaned Greene! “I forgot to take the keys.”

When speculation has done its worst,

two and two still make four.      

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