A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa. “The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here years ago . Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the real long — term harm caused by things in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?” After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, “Wedding Cake.”
An elderly gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane. At the French customs desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry—on bag. “You have been to France before, monsieur?’ the customs officer asked, sarcastically. The elderly gentleman admittably had been to France previously. “Then you should know enough to already have your passport ready.”..
The American said, “The last time I was here I didn’t have to show it.” “Impossible.” Americans always have to show their passports on arrival in France!” The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained. “Well, we just came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn’t find any Frenchmen to show it to.”
Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful lady, very sexy, attractive 25 yr-old-blonde who knocks everyone’ s socks off with her youthful charm. She hangs onto Bob’s arm and listens intently to his every word. His old buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first opportunity they corner him arid ask, “Bob, how did you get the trophy girlfriend. Bob replies, “Girl friend? She’s my wife!” They’re amazed, but finally find the nerve to ask. “So, how did you persuade her to marry you?” “I lied about my age”, Bob replies “what, did you tell her you were only 50?” Bob answers by saying. “No , I told her I was 90.”
A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young girl led them through the local process of cheese making, explaining that goat’s milk was used. She explained by showing group a lovely, green hillside where many goats were grazing. “These” she explained “are the older goats put out to pasture who no longer produce.” She then asked, “What do you do in America with your old goats?” A spry old gentleman answered, “They send us on bus tours!”
Church of the Science of God
La Jolla, California 92038-3131
© Church of the Science of GOD, 1993