Randy let himself in and set to work, and the dog just lay quietly on the carpet near him. But the parrot mocked him mercilessly right from the start. “Wow, you’re pretty fat,” the bird would say, the way parrots do. “Hey, fatso, you couldn’t change the batteries in a flashlight, let alone fix our dishwasher.” The parrot did not stop. Before long, Randy had had enough. “You know, bird, you think you’re pretty smart for someone with a brain the size of a pea. The parrot was silent for a moment, and then, with a gleam in its eye, said, “All right. Get him, Spike.”