SUBJECT - - WORDS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD.


These 12 are actual comments made on students’ report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. (2007) HONEST !!!


1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.


2 .I would not allow this student to breed.


3. Your child has delusions. of adequacy.


4, Your son is depriving a village somewhere of their idiot.


5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.


6. The student has a “full six-pack” but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.


7. This child has been working with glue too much.


S. When your daughter’. IQ reaches 50, --- she should sell!


9. The gates are down, the red lights are flashing, but the train ain’t coming.


10. If this student were any stupider he’d have to be watered twice a week.


11, It’s impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.


12 .SORRY - -The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.






These 16 examples were taken off actual police car video s around the US

 [these are some mighty quick witted’ cops]


16. “You know, stop lights, don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.’


15. ‘Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’r. new . They’ll stretch after you wear them, a while.’


14. ‘If you take your bands off the car----- I’ll make your birth certificate a very worthless document’


13. ‘It you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.


12. ‘Can you run faster than 1200 ft/second? Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.’


11 . ‘You don’t know how fast you were going? 1 guess then that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?’


10. ‘Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help !


       Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift supervisor?’


9. ‘Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.’


8. “The. answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?’


7. “Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in elephant poop,’


6. ‘Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.’


5. ‘In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.”


4. ‘How big were those ‘two beers’ you say you had?’


3. ‘No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.’


2. ‘I’m glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours,-------


       So you know someone who can post your bail.’



AND THE WINNER IS,...


1. ‘You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets?


     You’re right, we don’t!       Sign here.’ (Ouch!]



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