Rita Rudner Explains Men

                  

        MOST WOMEN ARE INTROSPECTIVE:

           “Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?”

           Most men are outrospectiue: “Did my team win? How’s my car?”


*        Men are very confident. My husband is so confident that when he

          watches sports on TV, he thinks if he concentrates he can help his team

          by coaching them from our living room. If the team is really in trouble,

          I have to stay off the phone in case they call him.


        Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of “rich” usually

           cancels out the nice of “bald.”


        Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They’ve

          experienced pain and bought jewelry.


        Men love watches with multiple functions. My husband has one that

          is a combination address book, telescope and piano.


        Men don’t get cellulite. God just might be a man.


        Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With

          female menopause, you gain weight and get hot flashes. With male

           menopause, you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.


        Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example:

          “Mitch, you look great.” Mitch: “Thanks.” On the other side: “Ruth, you

          look great.” Ruth: “I do? Must be the lighting.”


        All men would still really like to own a train set.

          Rita Rudner. Rita Rudner ‘a Guide to Men (Viking Penguin)



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