ZEN for those

                                WHO TAKE LIFE SERIOUSLY

 

1.       SAVE THE WHALES. COLLECT THE WHOLE SET.

2.       A DAY WITHOUT SUNSHINE IS LIKE, NIGHT.

3.       ON THE OTHER HAND- - -YOU HAVE DIFFERENT FINGERS.

4.       I JUST NOW GOT LOST IN THOUGHT. IT WASN’T FAMILIAR

          TERRITORY.

5.       42.7 % OF ALL STATISTICS ARE MADE UP ON THE SPOT.

6.       I FEEL JUST LIKE I”M DIAGONALLY PARKED IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE.

7.       HONK. HONK. HONK IF YOU LOVE PEACE & QUIET.

8.       REMEMBER, HALF THE PEOPLE YOU KNOW ARE BELOW

           AVERAGE.

9.       HE WHO LAUGHS LAST, THINKS SLOWER.

10.     DEPRESSION IS JUST ANGER WITHOUT ENTHUSIASM.

11.     THE EARLY BIRD MAY GET THE WORM, BUT THE SECOND MOUSE GETS THE CHEESE!

12.     I DRIVE WAY TOO FAST TO WORRY ABOUT CHOLESTEROL.

13.     SUPPORT BACTERIA, THEY’RE THE ONLY CULTURE SOME PEOPLE HAVE.

14.     MONDAY IS AN AWFUL WAY TO SPEND 1/7 OF YOUR WEEK.

15.     A CLEAR CONSCIENCE IS USUALLY THE SIGN OF A BAD MEMORY.

16.     CHANGE IS INEVITABLE - - EXCEPT FOR VENDING MACHINES.

17.     GET A NEW CAR FOR YOUR SPOUSE. IT’LL BE A GREAT TRADE. HONEST.

18.     PLAN TO BE SPONTANEOUS TOMORROW!

19.     ALWAYS TRY TO BE MODEST & HUMBLE. AND BE PROUD OF IT.

20.     IF YOU REALLY THINK NOBODY CARES - - - YOU JUST TRY MISSING A COUPLE OF PAYMENTS.

21.     HOW MANY OF YOU BELIEVE IN PSYCHO-KINESIS? RAISE MY HAND.

22.     O. K. WHAT IS THE SPEED OF DARK?

23.     HOW DO YOU TELL WHEN YOU’RE OUT OF INVISIBLE INK?

24.     IF EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE GOING WELL -----YOU HAVE OBVIOUSLY OVERLOOKED SOMETHING.

25.     WHEN EVERYTHING IS COMING YOUR WAY, YOU’RE IN THE WRONG LANE!

26.     HARD WORK PAYS OFF IN THE FUTURE. LAZINESS PAYS OFF RIGHT NOW.

27.     EVERYONE HAS A PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY, SOME JUST DO NOT HAVE FILM.

28.     IF BARBIE IS SO POPULAR, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BUY HER FRIENDS?

29.     JUST HOW MUCH DEEPER WOULD THE OCEAN BE WITHOUT SPONGES.

30.     EAGLES MAY SOAR - - BUY WEASELS DON’T GET SUCKED INTO JET ENGINES.

31.     WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU GET SCARED HALF TO DEATH TWICE?

32.     I USED TO HAVE AN OPEN MIND - - - BUT MY BRAINS KEPT FALLING OUT.

33.     I COULDN’T REPAIR YOUR BRAKES, SO I MADE YOUR HORN MUCH LOUDER.

34.     WHY DO PSYCHICS HAVE TO ASK YOU YOUR NAME?

35.     INSIDE EVERY OLDER PERSON IS A YOUNGER PERSON WONDERING “WHAT HAPPENED?”

36.     JUST REMEMBER

                    IF THE WORLD DID NOT SUCK,

                              WE WOULD ALL FALL OFF!



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Church of the Science of God
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Church of the Science of GOD, 1993
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