Thoughts for the Day

>>>”Give in to Temptation, it might not come again.”

Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

>>My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it’s gone.

The only time the world beats a path to your door is if....

                  you’re in the bathroom.

>It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, however,

                  there’s shipping and handling too.

>>>A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

My next house will have no kitchen------just vending machines and a                   large trash can.

>>A blond said, “I was worried that my mechanic might try and rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid.

My neighbor was bitten by a stray rabid dog. I went to visit him and see how he was doing. I found him writing frantically on a piece of paper, I told rabies could be cured now with a series of shots and he didn’t have to worry about a will. He said, “Will? What will? I’m making a list of the people I want to bite.

>Definition of a teenager? God’s punishment for enjoying sex.

As we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.

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