HOW TO TREAT ELVES

                                                      Morris Bishop

                    I met an elf-man in the woods,

                    The wee-est little elf I

                    Sitting under a mushroom tall—

                    ‘Twas taller than himself!

                    “How do you do, little elf,” I said,

                    “And what do you do all day?”

                    “I dance’n fwolic about,” said he,

                    “‘N scuttle about and play;

                    “I s’prise the butterflies, ‘n when

                    A katydid I see,

                    ‘Katy didn’t!’ I say, and he,

                    Says ‘Katy did!’ to me!

                    “I hide behind my mushroom stalk

                    When Mister Mole comes froo,
                    ’N only jus’ to fwighten him

                    I jump out ‘n say ‘Boo!’

                    “‘N then I swing on a cobweb swing

                    Up in the air so high,

                    ‘N the cwickets chirp to hear me sing

                    ‘Upsy-daisy-diel’

                    “‘N then I play with the baby chicks,

                    I call them, chick chick chick!

’N what do you think of that?” said he.

                    I said, “It makes me sick.

                    “It gives me sharp and shooting pains

                    To listen to such drool.”

                    I lifted up my foot, and squashed

                    The God damn little fool.

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