HOW TO TREAT ELVES
I met an elf-man in the woods,
The wee-est little elf I
Sitting under a mushroom tall—
‘Twas taller than himself!
“How do you do, little elf,” I said,
“And what do you do all day?”
“I dance’n fwolic about,” said he,
“‘N scuttle about and play;
“I s’prise the butterflies, ‘n when
A katydid I see,
‘Katy didn’t!’ I say, and he,
Says ‘Katy did!’ to me!
“I hide behind my mushroom stalk
When Mister Mole comes froo,
I jump out ‘n say ‘Boo!’
“‘N then I swing on a cobweb swing
Up in the air so high,
‘N the cwickets chirp to hear me sing
“‘N then I play with the baby chicks,
I call them, chick chick chick!
’N what do you think of that?” said he.
I said, “It makes me sick.
“It gives me sharp and shooting pains
To listen to such drool.”
I lifted up my foot, and squashed
The God damn little fool.
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