(and believe me they will ask.) Daddy - -

                                        WHAT IS A SALESMAN?


                               Did you ask me - - -“What is a Salesman?

SOMEWHERE between the dollars that go into the paycheck (of every office boy, order clerk, stenographer, book-keeper, office manager, purchasing agent, punch-press operator, printer, shipping clerk, foreman, plant superintendent, promotion manager, sales manager, vice president, president, and all the straw bosses) etc., and the raw materials that start the long chain reaction that puts money in the till, there is always the salesman.

Salesmen come in assorted sizes, shapes and colors, but they all have the same creed: To get as much as they can for as little as they can put out because the company is underpaying them anyway and making an absolute fortune oil of them.., what the company doesn’t steal from them, “Uncle” takes in taxes.

Salesmen are found everywhere—absolutely everywhere---and most any hour of the day or night. (Especially the night) The boss says that they are easier to find at night because he knows where to start looking for them then. Receptionists like them, waitresses love and adore them, bartenders tolerate them, (because they are big tippers) purchasing agents put up with them and sometimes like them, sales managers live off them (and real well, I might as add)— and their wives, well you know wives, they go along in self defense.

Of all the optimists this side of Heaven, the salesman is the most.

He hits on the first call and goes into orbit. His super-charger immediately kicks in, and he knocks off three more sales before lunch. Two boosters at lunch cause a change of his course and re-entry into earth’s atmosphere. A failure on the first call of the afternoon shuts oil his super-charger and the friction of the second call burns up all his fuel. He decides he has had it and returns to home base.

Optimists? (Did you forget the paragraph above already?)

You bet all salesmen are optimists. This is to them what fuel is for space ships. A salesman likes: Big expense accounts, friendly hotels, thick steaks, blondes (just to look at), club cars, new motels with TV and swimming pools, jokes, comfortable big, flashy cars, golf, gin rummy, poker, letters with checks, letters with odors, compliments from the front office, compliments from anyone, ham and eggs, steak and eggs, a hair-of-the -dog, coffee and, children (old enough to support them-selves), baseball, football, basketball, soccer, etc, and, Oh Yes, Westerns.

A salesman dislikes: Making out expense accounts, discourteous hotel clerks, hotel credit managers, cranky receptionists, hotels that fail to hold his room, reprimands from the boss, reprimands from anyone, ditto from the bookkeeper, bossy secret-aries, bad driving conditions, bad looking women, S. 0. S. from home, early calls, customers that distrust him, losing an order and rainy days.

A salesman is just exactly like a thoroughbred horse, a famous, winning one that is.. Feed him the best steaks, stable him in the best hotels, pamper and groom him for the big race, then something upsets him and he runs out of the money—Scold him, beat him, spur him, even slip him the needle and he still runs fifth. Put him in a race with a cute little sorrel filly and he goes like gang busters and wins breezing. That little chick at the end of the pay-off makes or breaks this breed of homo.

However, he is the spark that ignites the fire. He is to business what fuel is to all machinery. He is the indispensable man—But never let him know it. There is no hat large enough for an ego-inflated salesman. There is no club car sound proof enough for this cigar-smoking, ego-maniac. The front office, the back office, the lowly in-between office are all fair game for this charming, power-drunk, sales-contest winner with a full head of steam (and more than likely a full tank of fuel) —But God bless all of them—Their brass breaks the frost off the most frigid purchasing office and melts the heart of resistance to purchase. They have an unique kind of courage that is just as important in its contribution to the greatness of America as the courage of our most decorated G. I. or our bravest General. The first step of everything that has ever happened with this world began with the salesman


                        WHAT IS A SALESMAN!

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Church of the Science of GOD, 1993
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