WILL ROGERS who died in a plane crash with Wiley Post in 1935, was probably the greatest political sage this country has ever see or known; or will ever ee or know again!
ENJOY the following from his fertile brain, pen and mouth!
NEVER slap a man that’s chewing tobacco!
NEVER kick a cow-chip on a hot summer day!
There are only two recognized, known theories to arguing with a woman----------
NEVER miss a good chance to shut up!
Always drink upstream from the herd.
If you find yourself in a hole - - -stop digging
The very quickest way to double your money----
is to fold it double and put it back in you pocket.
There are three kinds of men.
The ones that learn by reading.
The few who learn by observation, and
The rest of them who have to actually pee on
the electric fence and find out for themselves.
Good judgement comes from experience,
and a lot of that experience comes from bad judgement.
If you’re riding ahead of the herd,
take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.
Lettin’.the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier’n puttin it back!
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He managed to keep it up until a hunter heard him—and shot him too.
The moral: When you’re full of bull------keep your mouth shut!
About growing older.
Eventually you will reach a point when you will stop lying about your age------
and start bragging about it.
The older you get----the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Some people try to turn back their odometers.
Not me. I want people to know “why”.I look this way.
I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth,
think of algebra.
I really don’t know how I got over the hill
without getting to the top.
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is
that it is such a nice change from being young.
One really must wait until evening
to see how splendid the day has been.
Being young is beautiful,
but being old is comfortable.
Long, long ago
when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks,
it was called witchcraft. TODAY , it’s called golf.
And finally - - If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble,
you won’t have anything to laugh at when you are old.
MAY GOD SMILE ON YOU TODAY!
Church of the Science of God
La Jolla, California 92038-3131
© Church of the Science of GOD, 1993